Tracks and Tides Newsletter - Winter 2016

 

Dear whanau, friends and supporters of our Tracks and Tides Community,

With an event filled Summer and Autumn season behind us, it is time to slow down a bit and contemplate. Winter is always a great time to do so, although we are already preparing for the upcoming Spring season. A perfect time to send out our next newsletter to share a bit of what has happened since our last edition.

We can honestly say, that thanks to your support we got out of a critical financial situation last year. We are moving towards a community supported, instead of a institutionally funded model. It feels so much better to be supported by people who really value our work. A huge thank you to all of you who are supporting us financially or in other ways. If you are not doing so already, would you consider setting up an automatic payment to support us financially? No amount is too small and many regular contributions help secure our common future (see sidebar for account details) .

Also, if you know of anyone who would benefit from our Rites of Passage programmes (who wouldn't?), please check the event calendar in the sidebar and refer to Adge ( info@tracks.net.nz ) or Gabby ( gabby@tides.net.nz ). There are still spaces available for our Tracks and Tides Rites of Passage events in September and October 2016. Additionally, we will be running a Good Man Make Tracks (GMMT) event from 16 until 18 September 2016, for which there are still spaces available as well.

Stef Jongkind


 

In loving memory of Peter Pontier

On June, the 6th, Peter Pontier sadly passed away after a short, but intense battle with cancer. He will be greatly missed by his family and friends and all the people who's lives he has touched. With all our love Peter, there will always be a seat around the fire for you, your sons and your family.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Peter, pictured here with his son Floris


 

Tides April 2016

Tides April 2016 saw 3 sets of mums and daughters in our team. This is such a testament to our work. These mums and daughters came years ago to our Rites of Passage program where they celebrated a change in the relationship with their daughters. An acknowledgement of what had been and of new ways and changes they called in.

In the following events the daughters came back as young leaders in absence of their mums. The role of young leader has opportunities for growth in leadership, teamwork and being able to give support. These mums trained through our Facilitator’s training weekends and became facilitators.

Now, years later, both mums and daughters are on the team, working together in some area’s and having the opportunity to see each other differently.

Here are some excerpts of their experiences:

Evelyn and Rachel Astbury
Evelyn came through Tides in 2013 as a new girl. And came back 3 times as a young leader. Rachel became a facilitator in 2015 and this time held the role of Homegroup leader.

Rachel : To be here with my daughter felt really natural. I thought I would be more aware of what she is doing and looking with mother’s eyes to her. That did not come up at all. I looked upon her as another woman. I observed a strength, a confidence, an ease to be with her in this event. I loved it.

Evelyn: I kind of forgot she was my mum. I saw her more as one of the other women. I really liked that separation feeling so I could be honest and open in my sharings without worrying of her observing me as a  mum. I am looking forward to go home and have that shared experience.. I know that being here together has improved our relationship and deepened the friendship between us.

 
Anne and Charlotte Smith
Charlotte came through Tides in 2013 as a new girl and came back 3 times as a young leader. Anne accompanied Charlotte a couple of times when she was a young leader and each time Charlotte grew in her role. Anne was assisting in holding the Women/Mothers group. This time they were more independent and separate.

Charlotte : I enjoyed it. It was better than last time. We made space to talk and connect consciously. In this way it flowed with ease to be together on the event. I was fine sharing myself and it felt comfortable.
 
Anne: I had a lovely experience. This time I felt more at ease around being separate from my daughter. I struggled last time so we had made arrangements beforehand  how to connect for 5 minutes here and there. I feel good that I found a balance with her of not too close and not too far. I saw clearly a link between my capacity to let her go and to see her capacity to grow and stepping into her place.


Siti Jongkind and Rita Scholten
Siti came through Tides in 2013 as a new girl and came back 4 times as a young leader. Siti has also been a sword bearer. Rita has been involved in Tides since 2009 and currently is a Homegroup Leader with the Women/Mother’s group.

Siti : It was a really different experience for me to come back with my mum after 3 years, it was very beautiful to notice how much our relationship had changed and grown since we last went to an event together. I really enjoyed being a part of the team with her as it gave us an opportunity to work together on a mutual level, which worked well. We really make a good team.

Rita: I felt really humbled to be with my daughter at Tides. We have had quite a journey alongside Tides due to my huge involvement with the program and the governance of the Rites of Passage Foundation. Sometimes this would overshadow her involvement. When Siti became a young leader we made agreements that only one of us would attend an event. This time we agreed to do it together and I loved it. I saw her truly as a young woman standing strong and tall. I felt we were standing together as women. There were moments where we would stand as mum and daughter and they were emotional and powerful. It strengthened our bond and we have a deeper understanding of our individualities.


 

Our teenagers

I have just picked up my daughter from her second Tides experience at Wainui and her first time as a Young Leader.  I cannot overstate what an incredible experience the Tides and Tracks events are for our youth, particularly as they embark on that confusing journey called puberty.

It is such a gift to have this program right at our back door and I encourage all parents and teenagers to seriously consider it. There is learning and experiencing in this environment that won’t be found in schools, at home or in the mainstream world (although I’m quite sure that in our near future this will be standard fare for our children crossing from childhood to adulthood).

Even if you don’t think it is your child’s ‘thing’ - my daughter did a fair amount of eye-rolling and lots of resistance before taking part - give it a go! 

Our children are often missing out on real connection with themselves and others - this is an opportunity to expand their sense of self-worth and experience another way of being in the world. Huge kudos and thank you to all those who are creating this opportunity for our beloved children. If you like the principles of the program and want to support it, perhaps you could offer a sponsorship to a child.

Martine Bouillir - April 2016
(Martine is one of our two Golden Bay councillors for the Tasman District)